IMPROVOHOLICS

Slurping up praise, without a spoon

2007-08-28T09:42:00.000-05:00

An email from Ellen below. My favorite part is that the only thing that makes her shout out to God is knowing that her full silverware set is once again safe and sound. ~Amy

-----Original Message-----
From: Ellen Reilly
Sent: Monday, August 27, 2007 2:41 PM
To: the gang
Subject: Re: FW: Improvoholics

I went by Baruch today to pick up my spoon and ask about the video...
I strolled in the main entrance casually, throngs of students all
around me, lifted my shades with a sly smile, awaiting the onslaught
of whispers and points, "Isn't that? I think it is... It's Ellen, oh
Ellen you were wonderful! Can I have your autograph?!"

Nothing. Not even imagined applause. I did recognize one of them,
though. Ah the injustice of it.

Got my spoon and yogurt, thank GOD

And then I strolled out, with nary a glimmer recognition from anyone
except the lady at security.

What a cruel, cruel world. How quickly they forget.

Ellen

Last Comic Standing

2007-07-19T16:47:00.000-05:00

In a message dated 7/19/2007 7:36:41 AM Pacific Daylight Time, afiore writes:

And on a completely separate note, around 9:45 last night, during Last Comic Standing of course, I get a call from my sister telling me to pause my tivo and scoot back just a bit to see none other than the gorgeous laughing face of one Mr. Michael Silva! (We were actually watching our tivo about 20 minutes behind so we hadn't gotten there yet.) Must've been a fun taping! Did you get to vote on anyone? I like seeing you on TV. And am jealous that you get to be in the audience of fun reality tv shows. If you get to see So You Think You Can Dance, I just may die of envy.

In a message dated 7/19/2007 8:36:43 AM Pacific Daylight Time, mcsilva writes:

My roommate, Joe Mortimer is dating contestant Sarah Colonna. She didn't make it through the finals but she is awesome funny. What a good time. Tell your sister she is my new favorite person. The taping was fun, but Tom Arnold was a wacko and kept going on and on and on. I dont think you say any or enough of it on the show, but he made the hour experience almost 3 hours long. Crazy man. I voted for Sarah, but clearly they have their politics! Not unlike the state of the country right now. I also LOVE So you think you can Dance. And now, i have to make it my destiny to attend! If I can.

So is that a Xana-don't froom you gals? Joe, I guess it may have to be just you and I.
Aw

In a message dated 7/19/2007 8:42:41 AM Pacific Daylight Time, joseph.j.carapella writes:

Congratulations Mike! My jealousy continues to grow. California dreamin'....

In Xanadu did Mike and Joe a stately play doth decree. Where Roth(?) the sacred river ran with roller-skates and padded knee. So be it! You and I singing songs we forgot we knew and hoping the special effects of Olivia Newton-John whisking away in a rainbow colored cloud are just as exciting as they were when first we awed....

In a message dated 7/19/2007 9:42:41 AM Pacific Daylight Time, afiore writes:

I think it's a Xanadon't for me, sadly. Anthony wants to go and we can't both that night because of Kayla so we'll roll in to see it another time. (Really lame pun intended.)

Despite fear of showing my age, gender and sexual orientation I have to admit, I've never seen the movie.

Now don't get all pissy about me mentioning age - somehow I'm managing to catch up to you guys and I definitely have more stretch marks than any of you.

Bad Friend Part 2

2007-07-19T16:40:00.000-05:00

From: Michael
Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2007 10:59 AM
To: Amy; Ellen; Joe
Subject: Re: Bad Friend

I like Chocolate cake. Maybe I am your baby. I want a party too for lost time. Ellen can't come.

From: Ellen
Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2007 11:07 AM
To: Michael
Cc: Amy Fiore; Joseph
Subject: Re: Bad Friend

If she's your mommy, "who's ya daddy?"

I don't want to go to a party for lost time. How about one for lost
wills to live? Or lost keys. Or lost in space? Or lost virginities.

Or lost opportunites.

Depressing. "When a sweet joke turns bitter. Today on Geraldo."

From: Michael
Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2007 12:02 PM
To: ellen
Cc: Amy Fiore; Joseph
Subject: Re: Bad Friend

Ellen is DEFINITELY not coming to my party.

On 7/17/07, Amy Fiore wrote:

But Geraldo is definitely invited.

From: Ellen
Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2007 8:36 PM
To: Amy Fiore
Cc: Michael; Joseph
Subject: Re: Bad friend

He's a lot of fun but you have to watch his hands, he gets very fresh.

Bad Friend Part 1

2007-07-19T16:38:00.000-05:00

From: Amy Fiore
Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2007 10:18 AM
To: 'Ellen Reilly'
Cc: Joseph; Michael
Subject: RE: Bad Friend

Ellen missed a seriously amazing game of kickball but she is forgiven.
By the way, my child alarmingly doesn't like chocolate cake so we're actually doing DNA tests to confirm she's ours. Totally possible that there was a hospital mix up and we'll be getting our real baby soon. If so, we'll totally have another birthday party to make up for lost time and you can all attend that one.

Bad Friend

2007-07-19T16:34:00.000-05:00

From: Ellen Reilly
Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2007 10:02 AM
To: Amy Fiore
Cc: Joe; Michael
Subject: Re: Bad friend

Amy is never going to speak to me again because it turned out I
couldn't go to Kayla's party after all. There was a schedule change
for the party to make it ealrier, and I had commitments earlier in the
day and oh dear Amy will never speak to me again. I am a bad friend.
Please tell Amy that I promise not to make eye contact with her during
the improvs.
Ellen

From Amy...

2007-05-09T07:56:00.000-05:00

That is too funny. I was worried that Ellen would look down on me for wearing flip flops to our meeting today. And I'm right this very instant eating a bagel with poppy seeds on it thinking I'd have someone to check my teeth before I go and talk to them. If I need to buy floss, it's coming out of expenses.

Oh, and I am so posting portions of the emails to the blog. This is the shit I'm talkin' bout.

From Michael...

2007-05-09T07:55:00.000-05:00

What a dirty drunk whore!

There is just too much here to have fun with.
I literally stopped and started three different tracks.
Oh God! I REALLY miss you guys despite the recent changes.
Amy is a mommy, Ellen is a copywriter and Joe is Japanese.
As for me, well, I still play a mean game of Russian Roulette.

God, I miss you guys...

from Ellen...

2007-05-09T07:49:00.000-05:00

um, full disclosure, it's Tueaday night at
9:00 and I just came from my acting class and a whole bunch of us went
out for drinks and right now I'm hammerred. So irresponsible, I know.

I forgot to mention to some of you Improvoholics, I got a promotion at
work. I'm no longer the receptionist, I'm a copywriter now. Whoo-hoo!
Yes, I'm writing ads now --
radio, print, what have you... big ad exec who gets drunk on Tuesday
nights, yessiree Bob! No longer thr recptionist and it's too freakin
weird.
Oiy, I've had 3 glasses of wine, I'm gone-zo. SUCH a light-weight, I
hate being so easy.

Part of a balanced breakfast

2007-04-29T20:49:00.000-05:00

So my sister just calls me to say, "hey, I think I just saw Ellen Reilly in a Cheerios commercial. Is that possible? She looks great and holds up a box and says, 'it helps me watch my weight!'"

I'm just pissed because I've been fast forwarding my tivo on only one arrow through commercials for the past few weeks trying to find it, and no such luck! And, we regularly eat Cheerios in my house! In fact, I think I just stepped on one by Kayla's exersaucer earlier today. Damn, those things make a lot of dusty little crumbs.

I remember my first blog...

2007-04-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

This is an auspicious moment for me as it is my first time ever writing in a self serving blog. Well, any blog for that matter. This is a virtual fly on the wall to the idiosyncracies and genius that is the Improvoholics. I couldn't be more excited knowing the ambivalent impact this will have on the world and more importantly the world wide web! Beware of snarky comments and inside jokes, and feel free to inquire. We will certainly attempt to make something up to exaggerate our brilliance and protect the guilty and flawed. Welcome!

Why hello there...

2007-04-26T10:10:00.000-05:00

Ba da da dah dah dah! We started a freakin' blog.
Hell, it's our blog, I can say it, we started a fucking BLOG!
Frankly, I think that's awesome.
I'm siked. Or psyched. Not sure how you spell that. Spelling is not really an issue when we're doing shows so this could get embarrassing. Awww, yeahhhh, I just found the spell check button. I am all set. 'Cept I don't have more to say right now. Damn it, Ellen was right. This may get boring.

Ellen starts by whining

2007-04-26T10:07:00.000-05:00

So it seems Amy (the young one) wants us to start a Blog. Ugh. I am Ellen (the old one) and I don't even know what a blog is. I told Amy that the only things I could contribute are items about how when I work out at Curves (see, I'm the old one) I get pissy if someone jumps on the circuit right next to me, especially when there is room to spread out. Personal space, sweaty middle aged ladies, personal space!

Oh dear, where are the references to texting and crystal meth? Too much "fiber," not enough "cyber..."